Name:
Location: Centennial, Colorado, United States

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Peaches

We are riders out of joint
going nowhere on the highway
passing postcards
stamps --cents

As we lick our lips and think of love
we somehow are tasting
the faint sweet nectar
peaches

Though I was lost inside the San Luis Valley
dreaming of Hotchkiss, Palisades
dreaming of gun-barrels and silver smoke
and straight down the old highway

Past the truck on fire
the doors melting
the glass in the street
a crowd of people, watching
tasting sticky fingers
peaches

We are richer than them
but we have never been this far away
We are somehow thinking of going home

Too many turns and you’re back where you started from
Too many long-wheeled homes

The wide load oversized
the lights flash criticize
the narrow construction plans written out in stone

Swinging wide
we rumble on the concrete-cement-jumbled-
gravel-pitted interstate
KEEP AWAKE

So slow, so long coming home
we riders
out of joint
speaking rhyme
soliloquizing our distemper
spite

Curse of morning
Curse of breath
The curse of dawn has left its mark
and I am tattooed with red and white across my shoulders
thinking spider web and hand print misery

We are

the blank on the page
between lines

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read,

I like your poem. I wonder if a little shuffling might make it wilder. In the version below, which I don't propose is better or worse than your original, just different, I've shuffled your stanzas for you. Stanza 1 and 2 are mixed, 3 & 4, etc.

Forgive me, but take a look. Shuffling sometimes will shake things up just right. It's amazing how connected your stanzas already are.

Best,
Jack Martin




Peaches

We are riders out of joint
As we lick our lips and think of love
going nowhere on the highway
we somehow are tasting
passing postcards
the faint sweet nectar
stamps --cents
peaches

Though I was lost inside the San Luis Valley
Past the truck on fire
dreaming of Hotchkiss, Palisades
the doors melting
dreaming of gun-barrels and silver smoke
the glass in the street
and straight down the old highway
a crowd of people, watching
peach-sticky fingers

We are richer than them
Too many turns and you’re back where you started from
but we have never been this far away
Too many long-wheeled homes
We are somehow thinking of going home


The wide load oversized Swinging wide
the lights flash criticize
we rumble on the concrete-cement-jumbled- gravel-pitted interstate
the narrow construction plans written out in stone
KEEP AWAKE

So slow, so long coming home
Curse of morning
we riders
Curse of breath
out of joint
The curse of dawn has left its mark
speaking rhyme
and I am tattooed with red and white across my shoulders
soliloquizing our distemper
thinking spider web and hand print misery spite
We are the blank on the page
between lines

Can you end with a peach image?
How could you connect the page and the peach?

11:23 PM  
Blogger read said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:36 PM  
Blogger read said...

Interesting mixture. It definitely gives the poem more life. I guess I could end with a peach image. Thanks for the comment and all of your suggestions.

3:36 PM  

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