Peaches
We are riders out of joint
going nowhere on the highway
passing postcards
stamps --cents
As we lick our lips and think of love
we somehow are tasting
the faint sweet nectar
peaches
Though I was lost inside the San Luis Valley
dreaming of Hotchkiss, Palisades
dreaming of gun-barrels and silver smoke
and straight down the old highway
Past the truck on fire
the doors melting
the glass in the street
a crowd of people, watching
tasting sticky fingers
peaches
We are richer than them
but we have never been this far away
We are somehow thinking of going home
Too many turns and you’re back where you started from
Too many long-wheeled homes
The wide load oversized
the lights flash criticize
the narrow construction plans written out in stone
Swinging wide
we rumble on the concrete-cement-jumbled-
gravel-pitted interstate
KEEP AWAKE
So slow, so long coming home
we riders
out of joint
speaking rhyme
soliloquizing our distemper
spite
Curse of morning
Curse of breath
The curse of dawn has left its mark
and I am tattooed with red and white across my shoulders
thinking spider web and hand print misery
We are
the blank on the page
between lines
going nowhere on the highway
passing postcards
stamps --cents
As we lick our lips and think of love
we somehow are tasting
the faint sweet nectar
peaches
Though I was lost inside the San Luis Valley
dreaming of Hotchkiss, Palisades
dreaming of gun-barrels and silver smoke
and straight down the old highway
Past the truck on fire
the doors melting
the glass in the street
a crowd of people, watching
tasting sticky fingers
peaches
We are richer than them
but we have never been this far away
We are somehow thinking of going home
Too many turns and you’re back where you started from
Too many long-wheeled homes
The wide load oversized
the lights flash criticize
the narrow construction plans written out in stone
Swinging wide
we rumble on the concrete-cement-jumbled-
gravel-pitted interstate
KEEP AWAKE
So slow, so long coming home
we riders
out of joint
speaking rhyme
soliloquizing our distemper
spite
Curse of morning
Curse of breath
The curse of dawn has left its mark
and I am tattooed with red and white across my shoulders
thinking spider web and hand print misery
We are
the blank on the page
between lines
posted by read | 10:04 PM
3 Comments:
Read,
I like your poem. I wonder if a little shuffling might make it wilder. In the version below, which I don't propose is better or worse than your original, just different, I've shuffled your stanzas for you. Stanza 1 and 2 are mixed, 3 & 4, etc.
Forgive me, but take a look. Shuffling sometimes will shake things up just right. It's amazing how connected your stanzas already are.
Best,
Jack Martin
Peaches
We are riders out of joint
As we lick our lips and think of love
going nowhere on the highway
we somehow are tasting
passing postcards
the faint sweet nectar
stamps --cents
peaches
Though I was lost inside the San Luis Valley
Past the truck on fire
dreaming of Hotchkiss, Palisades
the doors melting
dreaming of gun-barrels and silver smoke
the glass in the street
and straight down the old highway
a crowd of people, watching
peach-sticky fingers
We are richer than them
Too many turns and you’re back where you started from
but we have never been this far away
Too many long-wheeled homes
We are somehow thinking of going home
The wide load oversized Swinging wide
the lights flash criticize
we rumble on the concrete-cement-jumbled- gravel-pitted interstate
the narrow construction plans written out in stone
KEEP AWAKE
So slow, so long coming home
Curse of morning
we riders
Curse of breath
out of joint
The curse of dawn has left its mark
speaking rhyme
and I am tattooed with red and white across my shoulders
soliloquizing our distemper
thinking spider web and hand print misery spite
We are the blank on the page
between lines
Can you end with a peach image?
How could you connect the page and the peach?
This comment has been removed by the author.
Interesting mixture. It definitely gives the poem more life. I guess I could end with a peach image. Thanks for the comment and all of your suggestions.
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